contemplations and decisions

Anticipating the future is sometimes comparable to expect a root-canal or an operation. Knowing it will improve your life doesn't necessarily make it more appealing or favorable.

This is perhaps when stronger men and women than me speak of bravery, faith and forging ahead.. however I don't share those virtues or qualities of an obvious hero... The unlikely, reluctant, stumble-into-and-it-works-out-in-the-end kind of anti hero is more me..

So what to do then... when plans needs to be made, decisions need to be settled upon, and heart, might and mind wont come together and agree... and there's no heroic characteristic to be found in oneself....

For me, it's not the "big" things I have a hard time fighting for.... it's the small "maybe"'s that I have a hard time with... and for someone who is as stubborn as I am, it is quite impressive really, how "flip-floppy" I can be!!!!