Great Joke I learned in church this past sunday....

A Frog walks into a bank. He goes up to the teller, who's name is Patricia Wack, and says he needs a loan. Patty looks at him and says, well we might help you with that, but we need a collateral and a reference from someone who knows you well.

"Okay" says the Frog, "my dad has been banking here for a long time, his name is Keith Richards and he is a Rock Star, so I am sure that's not going to be a problem, and for collateral, I have this.." He hands her a small, pink, porcelain elefant.

Ms. Wack looks at the frog, then thinking it's a joke she looks around, and tells him she has to talk to her manager. She takes the elefant and goes into the Bankmanagers' office.
She tells him "I've got a frog, claiming to be Keith Richards' son wanting a LOAN, and he wants to put THIS up for collateral...." she holds up the little pink elephant.... "What is this anyway??" she exclaims.

Her manager looks at her and says "It's a nick-nack Patty Wack, give the frog a loan, His old man's a Rolling Stone!"

Til Ungdommen... a poem by Nordahl Grieg

Update: Har hatt dette i tankene siden jeg fikk vite nyhetene... og det surret slik at jeg tankte jeg ville dele med alle... Nordahl Grieg visste nok ikke hva som skulle skje denne sommerdagen i Juli 2011 men ordene passer fortsatt syns jeg...

Til Ungdommen av Nordahl Grieg

Kringsatt av Fiender, gå inn i din tid!
Under en blodig storm -vi deg til strid!
Kanskje du spør i angst, udekket, åpen:
hva skal jeg kjempe med hva er mitt våpen?
Her er ditt vern mot vold,her er ditt sverd:
troen på livet vårt,menneskets verd.
For all vår fremtids skyld, søk det og dyrk det,
dø om du må - men: øk det og styrk det!

Stilt går granatenes glidende bånd
Stans deres drift mot død stans dem med ånd!
Krig er forakt for liv. Fred er å skape.
Kast dine krefter inn: døden skal tape!
Elsk og berik med drøm alt stort som var!
Gå mot det ukjente fravrist der svar.
Ubygde kraftverk, ukjente stjerner.
Skap dem, med skånet livs-dristige hjerner!
Edelt er mennesket, jorden er rik!
Finnes her nød og sult skyldes det svik.
Knus det! I livets navn skal urett falle.
Solskinn og brød og ånd eies av alle.

Da synker våpnene maktesløs ned!
Skaper vi menneskeverd skaper vi fred.
Den som med høyre arm bærer en byrde,
dyr og umistelig,kan ikke myrde.

Dette er løftet vårtfra bror til bror:
vi vil bli gode motmenskenes jord.
Vi vil ta vare på skjønnheten, varmen
som om vi bar et barn varsomt på armen!

English translation By Rod Sinclair (2004)

Faced by your enemies,
On every hand,
Battle is menacing,
Now make your stand

Fearful your question,
Defenceless, open
What shall I fight with?
Where is my weapon?

Here is your battle plan,
Here is your shield
Faith in this life of ours,
The common weal

For all our children’s sake,
Save it, defend it,
Pay any price you must,
They shall not end it

Neat stacks of cannon shells,
Row upon row
Death to the life you love,
All that you know

War is contempt for life,
Peace is creation
Death’s march is halted
By determination

We all deserve the world,
Harvest and seed
Hunger and poverty
Are born of greed

Don’t turn your face away
From needs of others
Reach out a helping hand
To all your brothers

Here is our solemn vow,
From land to land
We will protect our world
From tyrants’ hand

Defend the beautiful,
Gentle and innocent
Like any mother would
Care for her infant.

Kids say the darn'dest things......

I did not collect all these, it was an email that got sent to me a long time ago, but as I am in need of a good laughter these days, and don't feel like spreading all my hardships and wo'es all over the internet, I thought this would make a perfect post! So enjoy!!


3-year-old, Reese ... "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying ... "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied ... "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer ... "Lead us not into temptation," ... she prayed, . "but deliver us some E-mail. Amen." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ ~~~~
One particular four-year-old prayed ... "And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church service ... "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied ... "Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough ... "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? ... Who's going to stop me?" ... Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said ... "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said . "Ryan, you be Jesus!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children when the four year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" ... the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," ... the Dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said ... "Did God throw him back down?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said ... "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," ... the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," ... the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said ... "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"